A little gig etiquette… please!

There are many things that signal the ageing process.  I can now add blogging about the need for gig etiquette to that list.

Fortunately I am not alone in being mightily fed up with behaviour at gigs.  A friend recently complained that one show she went to in the summer was like roosting with a shed full of starlings.  An apt description.

So for the uneducated here are a few tips on gig etiquette:

  1. A gig is not a good place for a first date.  Nor for those who are in the bedroom stage of their relationship.  She or he is not going to run away if you remove your tongue from their tonsils.
  2. The time for sinking pints is before – and after – the gig.  The beer taps will not run dry while the band is playing.  Trust me, you can survive for an hour or so without consuming alcohol.
  3. The band tends to be in front of you.  So not sure why it is you have to keep looking around every few minutes and checking out what is behind you. 
  4. Do I look like a pedestrian crossing?
  5. An acoustic, low key number is not the cue to head to the bar, chat to your pals or text your mum.
  6. The time to leave is before the encore starts.
  7. If you choose to stop in front of me for a loud, shouty chat with your mates, while you are leaving mid choon, please don’t be offended if I tell you to feck off.
  8. Some burdz like to dance.  It’s not a cue for you to come and leer or slaver over me.
  9. The quality of photies and videos taken on mobile phones, iphones and the like is so poor it’s not worth the bother.  Have you never visited Youtube?
  10. If I have paid good money to see a band, I expect to do just that.  See the band.  So please don’t assume that your money is somehow better than mine and therefore that there will not be consequences should you choose to stand in front of me.  Or worse my wee-er – but much less tolerant – pals.

Aside from all this, the Gaslight Anthem were awesome.  They came, they did minimal chat and they conquered.  They unleashed a blistering set, that was marred slightly by poor sound quality on the lead singer’s mike for the first few numbers.  But the more they played, the tighter they got. 

For a great big rollicking night out, they come highly recommended.   Visit Edinburgh again soon please boys.


9 thoughts on “A little gig etiquette… please!

  1. Pingback: It’ll all be over by Christmas? – Scottish Roundup

  2. Just add to what BigRab said – the constant movement is really annoying.
    It always seems to be past me, but it is probably just constant movement throughout the crowd. Very annoying.

    • What I don’t get though is what everyone is moving about for, or where they think they are going? I had one last night who politely said “excuse me please” as he tried to wedge through the wafer thin gap between me and my pal. He was bemused when I said no, go round us thanks. Doesn’t matter where I stand I always seem to attract movers but then maybe it is as you say, that it is just constant movement through the crowd. Have we just lost the ability to stand still, in the same spot for an hour or so?!

  3. Couldn’t agree more Kate, but without setting too many feathers flying, I have to say the worst offenders are Weegies and Burdz. On Thursday at an extremely sedate prog rock gig, at the Renfrew Ferry, there was nearly a fight because of drunken Weegie bampotism. And the worst behaviour I have ever seen was from piles of drunken, pink sombrero-wearing weegie burdz at a Neil Diamond concert. I’ve seen Sabbath, Dio and Megadeth, I’ve been to rock festivals and biker rallies, but this was the only time I’ve been genuinely scared by the audience at a gig!

    • Aye we had some of those kind of burdz there last night too. Wheeling about, trying to impress blokes, and simply irritating everyone. Ah Bruce, you being scared would be a sight to behold! Although admitting to going to sedate prog rock gigs has scared the rest of us!

  4. I’ll just add to (5) – or join in with the singing, but in a different key, and (9a) if you really must insist on filming the gig, please don’t lean on my shoulder to steady your mobile and then get shirty with me when I tell you to p*ss off. 😉

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  6. Oh! I can identify with that.

    I can quote many examples of similar behaviour.

    The thing that I’ve noticed, particularly at arena gigs like the SECC is the constant moving around. In my younger day if we required to go to the toilet during a gig we’d wait until a song was finished before barging past folk. We’d then wait until that song was finished before returning to our seat. Even then there would have been mutterings about “have you no got a cludgie in the hoose?”

    At several band gigs I have intoned to fellow concert goers to either sit down/shut up/ put their camera away – making clear that the stewards will be alerted should they not cease and desist. Being over six feet tall and having the demeanour of a mad person may assist in the efficacy of this approach but I find it usually works.

    Mrs Bigrab and I enjoy a wee night out at the comedy now and again. At Jongleurs in Glasgow they stop serving drink while the acts are on and it is indeed a brave person who’ll attempt a toilet visit with a sardonic comedian on stage.

    The best music gigs I’ve been to in recent times were Tom Waits at the Edinburgh Playhouse and the Aussie Pink Floyd at the SECC – with the majority of the audience over 45 – gig etiquette was impeccable!

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